A Daily Dance of Defense
In the last few years, I have found that there is beauty in the daily struggle of life. The journey or exploration between events can be daunting at times resulting in constant experiences of ebb and flow. This undulation of awe and shock can drive any person to feel guarded and weary. There are moments when it feels like I should place a protective bubble around my being and retreat from those daily circumstances. Yet, the occasion calls for a more heart opening reaction that reveals more about where I am in life and how I can connect with situations that can be upsetting.
I am a person who has scars on the face and other areas of my body, and when I am in public spaces people have visibly reacted to the point of discomfort on my part. Until recently, I would make it part of my practice to create a defensive barrier between me and the possibility of having a bad experience especially in populated spaces. It’s exhausting to live this way. I portrayed a demeanor that others would call bravery yet in my being I was immensely sad and angry about my appearance. Prayers at that time would consist of the keloids to disappear or for me to be happy despite their existence.
The Daily Dance of Defense Diptych is my homage to the ebb and flow of loving and hating my appearance. It came about when I had reached the stage in life where I began to accept all of me. Interestingly enough, I have been a person who was afraid of cephalopods. They are quite intriguing with all those limbs and unique movement, but, yes I feared them. I thought that painting an octopus would release me from the fear but I found a bit of myself along the way.
The ink covers a great portion of the limbs like my defensive bubble. I spent so much time creating the suckers and was content with the overall composition until the making of the ink cloud. Feeling defeated, the initial look was not to my satisfaction and I left the painting alone for a few months. Eventually adding strips of a plastic shopping bag to cover the limbs began to make sense to me. You see, I didn’t want to cover the body of the octopus because of it took a long time to create and it was quite stunning. Much like that experience, I was tired of concealing my true being in the pursuit of contentment or what I thought was sanctuary.
The Daily Dance of Defense Diptych began in January and was completed in April of 2020 and it has sparked more exploration of where I am at in the journey of acceptance. Please be patient with my writing of said journey, writing in this way is quite vulnerable especially in detailing the hows and whys of various art pieces. Thank you.
Close up of Daily Dance of Defense Diptych with views of texture.
